You Are Not Missed

"You are not missed."
Some days I imagine a note being
read.
Red
from embarrassment
I can not lift my head
from wont
and dread.
You are not missed.
You were a mistaken gift.
A milk spilled,
a letter mis-delivered.
"No one invited you Charlie Brown!"
and yet, I..
live.
and breath.
and walk the earth.
taking up space
I did not ask to take.
Excuse me.
Apologies.
I do my best
(though it's certainly not enough.)
I don't ask to be more,
just not less.
The world leaves me
breathless.
The beauty I see
is all around me.


And there's so much
MORE
I don't know!
But I could hide
in a hole.
Where no one sees,
I could pretend to never be.
a faceless face of misery.
Why should I care if
no one misses me?
I was not meant to be,
but here I am.
Loving so much,
but some days
I just can't stand.
I want to curl up
in a ball,
(eat the whole pie..)
filling up
and covering down.
Keeping quiet and underground.
I would disappear and
not be lost.
I am not missed,
to be found.