populating the earth
without company..
we glide by
many souls
on independent
paths..
pushing our own agendas,
but never
consummating,
we go alone.
into the world,
we breath for
a word
from others..
another:
a gentle hello,
a kindness given,
but never
committed,
or signal given.
a cup of caffeine,
the occasional
lunch,
endless time
flying by,
then returned
to a stall..
sinking..
into the empty field.
an un-milked cow,
an old horse
never ridden.
a book unread,
beneath the napping tree.
never quite alone,
but still
wanting,
and
wishing (as patiently)
for a bit
of understanding
and company..
"You are not missed."
Some days I imagine a note being
read.
Red
from embarrassment
I can not lift my head
from wont
and dread.
You are not missed.
You were a mistaken gift.
A milk spilled,
a letter mis-delivered.
"No one invited you Charlie Brown!"
and yet, I..
live.
and breath.
and walk the earth.
taking up space
I did not ask to take.
Excuse me.
Apologies.
I do my best
(though it's certainly not enough.)
I don't ask to be more,
just not less.
The world leaves me
breathless.
The beauty I see
is all around me.
And there's so much
MORE
I don't know!
But I could hide
in a hole.
Where no one sees,
I could pretend to never be.
a faceless face of misery.
Why should I care if
no one misses me?
I was not meant to be,
but here I am.
Loving so much,
but some days
I just can't stand.
I want to curl up
in a ball,
(eat the whole pie..)
filling up
and covering down.
Keeping quiet and underground.
I would disappear and
not be lost.
I am not missed,
to be found.
utopian ideal
i wish you were mine
mined for happiness
and peaceful serenity.
you making hands
and beautiful
figures.
i would keep you
like a friend, close
in the heart and mind.
thoughts like
rocket-ships
shooting to the moon.
come back to me,
and stay.
keeping always here
and there.
perfect in your humour
and roughness.
ideal patriot.
walk two worlds.
universal understanding.
