I
Feel like a fool for you.
these words that trip
and trip...
and make no sense.
(repeat)
(repeat)
who and whom and when and where?
Oh the subject
always must agree.
clarify.
my.
the words I can never say.
change the subject and turn and red.
circle the line, and then
terminate.
(repeat)
(repeat)
Mark up.
delete.
(repeat)
II
My paragraph makes no sense,
my line is fragmented.
My source is questioned,
and alone with crumbled pride.
Why ask?
Why wonder?
Why bother?
I am rent.
I am torn.
My meaning is lost, and confused.
Silent I'll stay
but hope.
The words will come one day.
The words will have meaning
and I will keep at work
but I will no longer
be a fool for you.
clarity
will come.
Why should I care
if you write or if you call?
if you even know I breath
at all?
We invest in people,
our hearts, and minds,
like books taking space,
the words we write,
the speech we make.
until we become silenced by regret.
why emote?
why and why, oh why...
Let it Pass.
the hurt and the waste.
Let it not feel
or hurt or wear a groove
or take up root,
or make a song
nor let the heart to break.
Be a book I read
and then moved on,
a happy memory
or strange dream.
A chapter of life
we read and leave
but learn
and recall.
You were never real,
and
I was nothing at all.
because I don't exist
and not a person to you,
any you.
So.
Why should I care
if you write or if you call?
if you even know I breath
here.
or there, at all?
rainy day at Ocean Beach (Sutro Walk March 2016)
I look forward to the sleep.
not today
or even tomorrow.
the deep sleep of not waking
will happen but not today,
today I move, I breathe,
I hope.
I look for the good in the world,
I keep going.
Some days are grey,
the cloud forms overhead,
voluminous, thick, foamy,
sometimes rain.
The rain comes for days,
and when I think it won't dissipate.
it dissipates.
Grateful for the Sun,
the warm, life-giving,
heartwarming, fingers tingling,
grateful, grass-growing, wind-willing,
growth and green.
The seas seen,
the footpaths walked.
The rose garden admired.
The Bench acquired.
and then
When that day is done,
just one.
I will sleep,
having seen the things I've seen,
and the world I've learned,
good people don't weep.
I will be asleep,
nothing in the world
will bother my mind,
alone and at peace.
Thankful to finally get the sleep.
Day 5 Prompt: write a poem that is based in the natural world.
Ground Squirrel
hidden in the rocks,
grey fur on grey stone
lost then found,
hiding from prey..
sleep comes soon.
the cat walks on my face,
settles down on my pillow and
wraps his tail
around my neck.
creates a furry scarf
and a purring to sleep.
a fuzzy corridor
opens in my mind
swirling, falling coma.
this sleep would be
very fine this time..
but then he stretches,
and digs his claws in.
Day 3 Prompt: Write an elegy – a poem that mourns or honors someone dead or something gone by.
Impatient
I hurried along,
I tripped and fell
and still I
missed you.
Too late,
I left a note
written
in my head
and sent to you.
Wait for me,
I will come.
Wait
and I will meet you.
We will be
together
in the end.
Day 2 Prompt : write a poem inspired by, or in the form of, a recipe!
lemon square
lovely
crusty
crunchy,
but pliable.
broken bits
with fork
or fingers:
tart, sweet
tasty,
lemony good.
perfection.
pomegranate seeds
a book by Hafez
a spring that sprung,
a wish by one..
a following- through
a garden for you..
a really bad poem
but another day done.
Trust.
That elusive thing.
That joy-Spring given,
that promise made.
when words pass your lips,
and I, like a fool,
take you in.
You know I want to believe,
these human needs?
Friendship,
Trust,
and Hope eternal.
Past recalled,
knowing I should not..
Liken to cat-fishing,
friendship-mocked.
wishing, holding,
watchful all-along.
and trust,
like light on the horizon,
rainbow after rain,
promises made.
sliding sand,
beach battered
words.
Trust, but wait..
Trust, but watch.
Trust, but hope.
friendship won't be announced
like a call to dinner
no it will slip through the tracks,
on a bridge for trains long abandoned..
like sunlight through a grate.
It'll seep into the cracks,
down the deep well,
like a long-distance flood.
It'll mix into the dark
and let that ink bleed away..
tap-out the sadness
that's kept company all the days.
friendship happens
like the breeze that has blown
away a favorite hat.
that secret laugh that only
is known what it means,
all is well.. no need to tell.
no need to speak..
Just let it happen if it's wanted.
wake up in that light, let it shine
deep in the gutters of the soul.
and brighten things up around here.
friendship wont' be announced.
find it good,
spinning words
into story
story into langue..
words of history
and of community.
spreading emotion
through the text.
forming connections
from spirit and heart
family and tongue.
with bended knee
we sit in shadows
watching as the world walks by,
heads down,
eyes transfixed,
wires dangle from ears,
and screens glow..
the random scream,
a few laughs and
squeaking wheels
as carts pulled behind,
pass by.
i watch you walking,
serious and tired.
an exhausted smile
on your face.. pushing,
no, pulling..
another saunter along.
everyone has a place
to go,
a place to be.. quickly.
i watch and wait and while
the hour goes.. reading
everything
in your body language and
hope to give encouragement..
and pass my day,
give a smile back to me,
once you've made it
your own.
Will you
remember me
when all the days go by?
While I wait
for you.
Through rainy days,
and
sun-dappled green
wind-wrested mornings..
I breathe the sigh,
and wonder why
I should wait
but willing,
I do.
Because.
I hope for you.
If I can't be pretty,
let me be worthwhile.
let me be a part of this,
the circle of your smiles.
Let me be filled with
your goodwill and your joy.
let me know you in
conversation,
even discreetly,
but personably,
deserving your esteem.
If I can't be pretty,
let me (at least) be worthwhile.
09 July 2016
edited & posted
11 July 2016
for you,
i would do most anything.
just to spend time.
to talk
or see your face,
to be with you,
within the circle
of your grace.
i would keep my hands
to myself
always,
so as not to hug,
or hold or scare you,
dear to me that you are.
i would keep my place.
if you would have the time.
Patience,
to call you mine
if only
for those short,
infrequent times.
Even if you don't,
I love you just the same.
I see you
in your flaws,
your pale perfection
and intellect.
I see your bright-eyed
wonder
and smile.
I see the glow you hold,
and only want to
circumnavigate,
or at least to live
within the orbit
of your presence
as you travel through.
My sun is always shining
brightly upon you,
and radiating
and reflecting,
absorbing..
the perfect un-perfectness
this.
that glow that is very just you.
I live for moments,
the many days,
where the earth aligns
just right, the tilt..
your hello like waves,
your smile like a welcome shore,
your words are like hope
I bundle within
with string
and joy
and light.
and even if you
actually have rejected me,
Oh, but I love you just the same.
so close.
to touch,
within reach.
but here,
i keep my hands
to myself.
want.
stretching upward
arms wide
reach outward,
hands grasp
out..
the desire to touch
your mouth.
your face, so close..
admiring
the bend of your arm,
the curve of a thigh,
your knee,
calves tight..
or the foot
and its ankle,
(its perfect companion..)
all within reach
but so far,
the blood
flows
only through me,
to all points beyond,
my nerves awake,
and heat
to my face.
i keep my hands
to myself.
so close.
create
this lesson.
to not be ashamed.
to not live
without.
to not fear me,
or love or
what it can gain.
creating a path.
to carry you along.
to not be without,
to be good to
myself.
to love free,
and open communicate
simple talk,
simple want,
simple virtue,
and to complete.
to be whole,
instead of this
part.
created in duress,
because I know not.
clearing this mess
i call my life..
it's not only you.
it's just my fixes..
for blue sky view.
focusing inward,
the turns got dark..
constructing a path,
removing the stress.
keeping the good,
and grateful to know,
(including you)
disentangle the guilt,
keeping the clean
keeping the love;
building a dream.
changing my life,
becoming what i should.
