Tuesday, December 23, 2014

there is a place

there is a space
a room in my heart
left empty by you..
i fill it with books
and memories..
i cover it in bandages
with the purrs
of a cat
who sits over that hole
fills it with love
'til he jumps off
to the next thing.
there is a hole
i fill with random thoughts
and gestures
and hope
all fleeting
like the clouds..
the fog that rolls in off the hills
across the bay
lost to drowning..
poisoned by sorrow
there is that emptiness
left and never filled
for long longing.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Something by Sondheim

It was
something by Sondheim..
some thing..
that makes me think of you
like he,
wishing his mentor would know..
aren't you proud of me..
proud of you!
if only
I had that way with words.
if only I could be
better like he..
I think of all the stories
if I could write
the light like you..
the things you do.. did.
when you walked the earth
and made generations love
you.. Honorary Uncle
honored by me..
loving your every word.
missing every word,
and your heart and your head..
and you.. Missing you.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Your Beautiful Halo Of Goodness

somewhere in the arts district...

what if I never met you
you were a person on the street.
never knowing or wanting,
I wouldn't care if you smiled
or said hello,
or wished me well..
We could pass and smile
and never know the strangeness
of our souls.
I would not care if you love
but I would still love you
as I do all humans,
in that colorless way that hopes the best
and wishes we all could get along.
but that silent brightness
I have seen...
or imagined it so,
shimmering from the depths
and radiating outward
when perhaps you weren't looking,
the thing I keep remembering,
hidden beneath your vest.
closed off from the world,
your beautiful halo of goodness.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

My Tactless Wonders


for the friends I've met but yet to make*

i think of you tho
remind myself
not to..
which brings the image
of you all the more
into view.

i tell myself it is
not truly you
i am thinking of
but an ideal,
an idea of truth,
this better hue.

a wish on the lips
to spring forth
an image of us, as if
thinking of you,
you appear august
and fine.

and all my tact-less
would be forgiven
and we could start
as newly-met friends.

*Beyond a random 'hello' I seem to always stick my foot in it, saying the wrong thing, asking the wrong questions.. my timing is often horrible it seems, regardless whom I am speaking with.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

NaPoWriMo 2014: Days 2-8


I thought I saw a halo
beneath the neon sunbeams
darting like a fish without water
along the structured columns.

Why don't I say hello?
Why didn't I say Hi?
What's wrong with me
You didn't see

Or maybe you did and that's what
made you leave.
I think too much.
too little.
The physical world brings me down.


this song makes no sense,
my sense of irony is lacking.
I felt I wanted to kiss the sky.
so blue
so passionately lacking in sadness.

I wish I could hug the world some days.
I wish
I could just crawl off an die.
I wish I could tell you why,
sometimes it's not worth my while..
the earth just wants to swallow me up.

empty bowl
filled up..
on all what?
heart surrenders
and life commences
different shades
of blue and grey
and white
the bowl empties.


people passing by.
don't worry.. be shy
My mind is in my work
it's a million
way from here.
not where
you walk.. when I saw
you minding your own
of a cafe to sit.
of my next
shot of
espresso no, iced.
Just watching
people passing by.

like a balloon on a
a mindless thing.

your smile
I want to mean hello
I am here
no worries
it's OK
no fan fiction business
just sincerity.

gone but not..
just sleeping.

waiting for you
the magic moment
my muse meets you
who uses
me like a magic

lucky 13.. lucky number
get your
why won't my muse
work for me?

luck rubs off
just add

I never trust the smile
that says
you're lucky.
lucky for you.
your muse.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

NaPoWriMo 2014: Day 01

NaPoWriMo a sad attempt to ramp up to attempt the April National Poetry Writers Month Challenge.. my muse strikes me at add times.. so this was a dismal failure trying to write 8 poems in a day.. I gave up. "Maybe Next Year" as I say with NaNoWriMo.. or maybe when the muse hits again.. usually it hits other people.. oh well.

So grateful
today is not that day

I have nothing to say
the future lays

before me..