
love.
all stop;
exiting through,
hate leaving you!
the time ends quite quick,
time until we meet again
unknown, the interval passes.
precious want and impatience felt.
(assuming I did this right, should be accompanying number of syllables per line..) 
 
 
 
            
        
          
        
          
        

what i could do
with 
those missed views!
the shots i 
could 
take. 
my eyes are not 
yours,
you shoot, 
but 
you don't shoot 
like me.. 
the things i see! 
the way the 
sky
hits 
ground, 
the angle.. 
that light sound. 
the way red 
meets brown.
no 
light 
meter,
no firing flash.
no need. 
let the sun 
do its 
work..
let the night 
drip sex
and the fog smoke.
let people touch.. 
let light
enter 
the iris
and the moment 
pass.. 
let me look, 
and let you see.
let us both
make a memory.
oh, 
what i could do,
if i had that chance.
pretty 
the picture
but lost the moment,
if we don't 
advocate 
for our own 
desires.
 
 
 

still the water 
dripping in the basin.. 
still the showers
pounding at the door.. 
silence the waves, 
cool the steam, 
warm the air.. 
let nothing move.
let nothing speak. 
practical silence.. 
and the beating heart.
peace. 
 
 
 
I say I'm sorry because I'm supposed to be.. 
I wasn't supposed to be here.
I should have been buried 
in someone's backyard like an old bone. 
I say I'm sorry because I'm supposed to be..
I should have been drowned in a tub.. 
or thrown down the stairs.. (that's what she did.)
or just left out in the cold to die. 
I say I'm sorry because I'm supposed to..
I should have just killed myself 
when I had the chance, but I didn't. 
I don't want to leave a mess, 
or inconvenience anyone, or put anyone out. 
I say I'm sorry because I'm supposed to be..
I'm an inconvenience to the world. 
People are busy and don't have time.
People have lives.. not mine.
I say I'm sorry because I'm supposed to be.
I don't express myself right & get confusing.
If I don't know an answer, that's OK..
don't bother people, they are busy. 
 
 
 
            
        
          
        
          
        
 I have nothing today.. so it's a reworked poem.. (because everything I write is awful..) This one from 1989.. one of a very few of my own poems I have mostly memorized.. 

To Melt (To Say I am Hooked)
the words, they stumble 
from my lips.
the words, they form..
not too quick. 
i lack the art 
to express myself, 
to tell you how i feel.
to say i like you,
(i like you a lot!) 
you do me over,
with just one look.
and i melt like butter
from head to hips 
(to toe..) 
i melt. to say i am hooked.
 
 
 
            
        
          
        
          
        

Sensibility
Alas: love..
when my head 
catches up 
with my heart. 
Oh! the dam burst! 
Oh! the weeping! 
the despair. 
Oh! the love that 
can not be 
shouted!
can not be shared
right now.. 
can not be given but 
quietly. 
through 
silent meditation 
and hope.
through kind 
thoughts 
and wishes. 
through 
silent energy 
poured forth 
in waves of muse..
through skies of 
blue
and teary, gray-clouded,
splattering 
thunder-rattling rain!
restless 
night wandering.. 
floor pacing 
contemplating 
friendship 
hoping, 
helpful wanting to be..
of service to you. 
a cup. 
a hand. 
a foot.
a friend..
a heart on mend. 
(reworked poem) 
 
 
 

Today. Not Yesterday.
Today. 
Not Yesterday.
(though
such an 
amazing Person
still.)
The Person 
I see 
before me now,
is the one whom
in my thoughts 
dwell. 
The path you 
travel, 
makes you 
who you are
now.
The many 
experiences 
that 
shaped you, 
and makes you 
so fine.
the Person 
I want 
so much
to know.. 
your
every 
brilliant facet!
to hold 
in my hand
your beautiful 
sparkle;
and always within 
your presence..
You bundle of 
life!
 
 
 
            
        
          
        
          
        
i breath the history
i wear it like a cloak.
the harm you do; 
the shame it coats..
like sludge 
on the heart.
weighing down thick
the hurt you do 
to your fellow man.
you have a stain,
that won't wash off.
you wear it like a badge.
I see it as an open wound.
 
 
 
            
        
          
        
          
        

The Invisible
I must be 
invisible: 
a place-holder
for the real.
I haunt the places
I walk
and hope you 
will see me.. 
I am 
aware
and 
definitely
can see
you.
you exist 
whole 
and complete
and.. 
You must know 
you are good.
and I am 
just myself. 
(which isn't 
so bad given a chance..) 
 
 
 

Late Night Again
sleep. 
the world 
has put a blanket
over its head..
soon 
i must 
but for 
a short time,
then awake. 
dreaming 
brief.
i hope 
for you.. 
that your
slumber
is peaceful. 
and rest comes
easily to you.
 
 
 
            
        
          
        
          
        

oh, that you were 
mine 
to tell..
oh, that you were 
my friend to share! 
the world cracking 
pain 
around my heart
happy 
joy
and weep-weary silence.
the 
leaking!
cracking!
split!
Just to say 
I love you. 
be grateful 
to know you.
to have release.
to know peace.. 
and 
return in kind. 
to not be afraid!
and let heart 
meet mind.
to know.
for it 
all to be fine.
and I am yours 
in most all things.. 
(in time) 
especially friendship.
*reworked poem
 
 
 
            
        
          
        
          
        

If I were a place
where would I be?
the place i came from
or this place I long to be?
The journey
isn't the destination,
the destination
isn't the place.
The adventures we have
build us, 
travel makes us strong.
 
 
 
            
        
          
        
          
        

i could read you every day, 
i could learn a phrase.
i would live on air, 
i would breath your fire.
Today's Prompt.. doubles or pairs.. (which I could not honestly come up with much.)
 
 
 

silence is not a friend,
it's a growing hunger
and thirst.
it digs in deep.. 
it revels in the pain;
a seeming unending 
aching for the word.
 
 
 
            
        
          
        
          
        
Worthy of So Much
A fool for you
perhaps.
If you asked.
I would:
take a challenge, 
take your word.. 
I would exist 
on silent crusade
and sing for you. 
I would learn 
a new world for you.
Not for weakness, 
but for love
for friendship 
that is yet to form. 
even if left empty 
and alone, 
I would do for you.
because I judge it so
worthy of so much, 
and perhaps, 
if I'm lucky, 
I won't be a fool
but something more.
 
 
 
            
        
          
        
          
        
The Things They Did
it scars the soul, 
the things they did.
but we should live
and bear witness. 
and bear the pain.
share the knowing.
and never forget.
and never forget.
it scars the heart
the things they did.
but we should live
and sing our songs
and dance our dance
rejoice for the joy.
but never forget. 
but never forget.
 
 
 
            
        
          
        
          
        
 

when lines meet. 
and intersect, 
the wind plays 
like a harp 
across the sky.
reverberate
and jump
and Spring.. 
birds sing..
such
romantic things! 
 
 
 
            
        
          
        
          
        
          
        

stormy wet fog
rising over the hills.
rainy Saturday
Berkeley..
watching 
from windows..
still.
fog & light,
i imagine
far across the bay..
bridges between,
safety..
pondering the day.
1120am
 
 
 
I wish I could translate 
the thoughts of your mind..
the way you smile, 
as if sharing 
your very own secret.
beauty 
is something that lights 
from within.. 
you radiate like the sun. 
9 April 2015 (yes a day late)
 
 
 
            
        
          
        
          
        
Bridges, Rock Walls and Dams
Like birds on a wire
or lemmings on a ledge,
people peer over,
as if at a hedge.
The air is floating, 
like in that dream, 
where base jumpers
leap into canyons, 
catching an airstream.
But me, I am grounded.
A dead weight, 
I would not fly;
but sink like a 
blood-filled stone.
I would not die.
I would only 
break a few bones, 
thus.. I would never try.
 
 
 
            
        
          
        
          
        
chocolate
I love you
though we've 
not always seen 
eye-to-eye.
the days I wanted
for you, 
you made me sick.
my wheezing 
tongue-swelling 
attack 
called me out. 
there was no 
point in 
sneaking you in,
when you 
raise the alarm
immediately. 
I'm so glad 
I've gotten older,
you've acclimated 
to me. 
now I savor you 
your meltiness,
dark or milk,
or salty caramel,
sticky sweet,
you become 
one with me. 
that phenylalanine
rush of good
feeling 
I only get from 
you
(and the occasional 
lemon square.) 
Today's Prompt (food poem)
 
 
 
            
        
          
        
          
        

I live without a mirror 
or an honest critic.
I live without advice.
I don't know what is 
preferable but I see 
what others like..
you can be assured.
but I can't say that 
I am any of those things,
certainly not perky or sweet 
not sinewy or ethereal, 
not sparkling or desired.
but I can't say I'm too hideous,
though I've seen younger days.
I react easily when engaged, 
and am solid and steadfast. 
I thrive in sun and wind, 
and don't mind the rain, 
darkness does no harm, 
but only when I'm game. 
No I am not a prize winner,
certainly no rose, no flower,
though my color isn't bad.
I blush when fussed over 
like anyone, and grow 
in your daily ardor.
instead I work within
from deep inside, 
where hearts take root;
and burn with a hidden fire. 
I am good company for everyone, 
and will not complain
if not offered a drink.. 
but like a vine I wind, 
and come to life in your light. 
I try to be patient and quiet 
and with the right attention,
hope that's what you'll desire.
Today's Prompt (aeed packets) 
 
 
 
            
        
          
        
          
        
a janky poem a day.. this is getting hard. I don't get inspired very often so forcing me to come up with something every day just makes it worse. Blah.. and now, the "cruelest month" prompt, (are months cruel??) 

A long Summer..
the cruelest time 
is when we are away.. 
no exams to be had 
but set adrift.. 
to make our own plans.
to stack up the books
or binge on films, 
or hike up the hills!
or hunker down.. 
ponder death..
take a long trip 
or a sleep in the sun.
clear out the gutter, 
re-layer some paint.. 
find a hobby or 
just contemplate.
don't waste time
but get things done.. 
today's prompt.. "the cruelest month"
 
 
 
            
        
          
        
          
        
I
oh I adore you.. 
you are beautiful 
and fine.
I fill my cup
with your true kindness
and could drink you up
for all time.
II 
oh when you leave
I am in such sadness,
your heart 
is dearly pure.
when I am with you
comes the contentment 
and I am fulfilled.
2day's prompt ("fan letter")
 
 
 
            
        
          
        
          
        

My brothers and myself.. Bob on the left, and Craig on the right.. one of my favorite photos of the three of us.. 
Type 1
"A trail of crumbs 
in the garage
and on the bathroom sink.."
not from me but you.
"Where would I get the money
for "Suzy Qs"
or Hostess Pies?"
I ask but am told.. 
you are full of lies.
No one knows, but you, 
and why should I blame 
a big brother  
sneaking treats.. 
regardless that 
these feats mean death;
I used to envy you..
by the time the sickness comes
the evidence is long gone. 
As for me, my lungs collapse,
the passages shrink 
and like a fish out of water
I gasp, I grasp, and choke. 
Asthma is no joke. 
Kids like sweets;
and always found out.
today's prompt something about family.. this one about my brother Bob who passed March 2011..
 
 
 
            
        
          
        
          
        

ambivalence
looking forward, but
feeling sad.
wanting; not to lose..
NaPoWriMo: 30 days, 30 poems. Fortunately we're easing into it: above was my attempt at a lune, (today's prompt)